The Language of Digital Love: Introducing a Taxonomy of Romance for the AAA Game
by Amy Brierley-BeareAbstract
Interactive romance has been a mainstay in AAA games for many years. Romance is an expected feature of many major releases and something that is intrinsic to in-game social systems. Yet, what constitutes a representation of romance can vary significantly depending on the game you are playing. It could be an all-encompassing epic love story or simply another element of gameplay -- a skill-based challenge for the player to complete. Despite this, representations of romance have remained under-examined and vaguely defined by scholars. The word “romance” is so often used as a catch-all for what is a broad spectrum of representation. As such, this article introduces a taxonomy of romance in the AAA game. There exist distinct vernaculars of “digital love” in the AAA space that I define as “limerent, domestic, ludic and physical.” I define the structures, tropes and conventions of these vernaculars and argue that they are a crucial -- yet understudied -- element of digital gaming. They are intertwined with broader social systems, moral messaging and pleasures offered to players. Ultimately, they have a capacity to frame textual engagements with gender, sexuality and sexualisation. This article provides a taxonomy to help scholars and developers better understand how it might mediate player experience and textual meaning for future studies.
Keywords: romance, digital love, AAA, sexuality, intimacy, gender
Introduction
How do you imagine romance in the AAA [1] game? Is it the all-encompassing-epic love story as seen in the Mass Effect or Dragon Age series? Maybe it is simply a spouse that is patiently waiting at home for you after all your adventures, like in Skyrim or the Fable series? It could just be another element of gameplay -- a skill-based challenge that needs to be completed. There have always been discrepancies as to what is considered “romance” in digital gaming. Some have called it “dating” while others would simply use the term as shorthand for getting “close” with a non-player character (NPC). Yet everyone (developers, players, journalists) seems to know and recognise what they are talking about. Romance is an expected feature of most major releases and something that is intrinsic to in-game social systems. Despite this, representations of romance have been under-examined and vaguely defined by scholars. The word is so often used as a catch-all for what is a broad spectrum of representations. This largely obscures the considerable impacts that romance can have on textual meaning and player experience. As such, this article provides some much-needed clarity or least alternatives to how scholars and developers might approach representations of romance in the AAA game.
To do so, I introduce a new taxonomy of romance in the AAA game. There exist distinct vernaculars of “digital love” in the AAA space that can be broadly classified as limerent, domestic, or ludic. Limerent representations typically present romance as an all-encompassing epic love story. They encourage players to develop sophisticated relationships with their companions through dynamic conversations and dedicated social gameplay mechanics. Domestic representations express romance through social systems that surround a domestic partnership -- housing, children, marriage, bonding, or household duties. Ludic representations focus on player improvement through playful dalliances and gamified understandings of love. I theorise that the structures, tropes and conventions of these vernaculars are a crucial -- yet understudied -- element of digital gaming. They are intertwined with broader social systems, moral messaging and pleasures offered to players. They have the capacity to frame textual engagements with gender, sexuality and sexualisation. Romance is its own form of play -- this article provides a taxonomy to help scholars better understand how it might mediate player experience and textual meaning in the future, as this is a rapidly evolving yet understudied area of games.
Romance in Games
Romance in games scholarship is a deeply complex and negotiated idea that is understood and used in a multitude of ways. Heidi McDonald has written extensively on how players engage with romance and what romance can look like in gaming. She identifies a lack of a clear definition of what constitutes romance as well as a reliance (by developers) on reward mechanics that are often intertwined with romantic gameplay. As she explains:
...nobody seems to know what a romance game is -- not players, scholars, or game developers. […] Typically, romance in Western AAA roleplaying games (RPGs) presents as optional side content that may or may not offer gameplay benefits such as a buff, an ability or a piece of equipment, players are often rewarded for their efforts at romancing their nonplayer character (NPC) of their choice with a cut scene in which consummation of some kind occurs. (McDonald, 2015, p. 24)
McDonald explains the different ways romance can be presented in games but is careful to recognise these as merely examples, as there is little to no agreed-upon understanding of what it takes to be called a “romance game,” or even what romance in gaming looks like. Romance in gaming discourse is a word that can be used as a noun, a verb and an adjective. According to McDonald, romance could mean an NPC who is being romanced, as well as a romantic storyline. It could also at times be used interchangeably with the term “love interest,” which refers to an NPC that a player may optionally engage in a relationship with. The word romance can act as a catch-all term that can include the developing relationship between characters, a marriage system, a single sexual encounter and numerous other options (Kelly, 2015; McDonald, 2017; Isbister, 2016; Grace, 2020). This way of looking at romance seems more applicable to how gaming has changed and shifted its interpretation of romance. Romance in games can function as an abstract term, and just as Fuchs (2004) describes the evolution of the term “romance” in literature, in gaming the term has changed as well. But because of the term’s ubiquitous use, the abstract “romance” makes specific instances of in-game romantic interaction harder to analyse. The mixed interpretation of romance leads to a complexity of analysis and a lack of a unified voice surrounding this topic.
Some scholars have attempted to explain how romance works and what engaging in romance looks like, rather than offer definitions of the term. Renata E. Ntelia (2020) defines romance as “romantic love” which they understand as “the experience of being in love,” though this understanding does not consider romance without love (p. 61). Lindsay D. Grace (2020) recognises romance as something tied to affection rather than love. Grace (2020) defines digital affection as anything requiring the “fundamental affection verbs” of flirting, kissing, hugging and making love (p. 30). Much like Grace, McDonald (2015) argues that romance has to be acknowledged by a game to be recognised as more than just a kiss, hug or sexual encounter. McDonald contends it is the structure of romance that makes it so identifiable in games. They claim there are two main types of romances that a player may encounter when it comes to the “workflow” or structure of the game -- central and ancillary. A central romance is a romance that, as the name suggests, acts as central to the overarching narrative. Examples include dating sims where the main objective is to find a partner or in games where romance happens in a cutscene central to the plot. Ancillary is “optional side content in a larger story taking place in the world” (McDonald, 2015, p. 29). Ancillary romance, according to McDonald, is something the player has to opt into, which she urges designers to think about when creating these stories. In this sense, scholars have attempted to categorise romance by breaking down digital affection, ludic functions and structures to paint a picture of how romance operates in gaming. Despite these varied descriptions, there still remains little consensus on what constitutes romance occurring.
The messaging within a game can be deeply impacted by how players are encouraged to use and view romance. Ian Bogost (2006) insists that games are “biased, non-objective modes of expression that cannot escape the grasp of subjectivity and ideology” and that romance is another representation of a wider cultural idea in gaming (p. 7). Peter Kelly (2015) suggests that the way a game signals romantic relationships to players can be connected to the themes of the text and reveal messaging hidden within. Kelly argues that romance brings out new stories and ideas from a text. Sebastian Mӧring (2015) demonstrates that romance can be represented abstractly through applied metaphor -- in their case looking at The Marriage. Leonid Moyzhes (2020) also connects romance and metaphor in gaming, stating that,
…representations of romantic relationships invariably simulate not the relationships as such, but rather the cultural constructs that describe how said relationships should look. These constructs can be abstract or realistic, but they are in any case conditioned by the totality of texts dedicated to the particular subject. (p. 159)
Moyzhes contends that this understanding of romance helps to shift the focus from definitions of romance to considerations about what the text is saying about the “cultural constructs” that surround romance (2020). Moyzhes also criticizes how players are encouraged to use romance, noting a significant lack of engagement from developers on the topic. Continuing, Moyzhes speculates a “ghettoization of love” that had left romance as a side activity in these games (Moyzhes, 2020, p. 175). According to Moyzhes, when players are encouraged to engage with romantic relationships that hold no bearing on the overall narrative, they experience tension. This tension and dissonance allegedly cause players to view romance and the cultural constructs around romance as lesser (Moyzhes, 2020). Scholars recognise and identify that romance as it is positioned by a text can greatly impact audience interpretations and considerations.
Gaming literature is often critical of the mechanisation of romance as a means of incentivising player participation. Alexander Galloway (2006) argues that the quantification of social and cultural constructs found in games inevitably leads players to discount or trivialise thematic explorations in these experiences. Diane Carr (2007, p. 225) argues that players and scholars can attempt to “split” the ludic (rules, goals, chance, components and winning or losing outcomes) from the representational (the portrayal of the game world and its inhabitants), but also that a game as a complete text is inevitably the combination of these ideas. Moyzhes (2020) distinguishes that, when it comes to romance in games, an incentive for sex and romantic intimacy “depersonal[ises] the partner and mechani[ses] the relationship” (p. 159). While there are players, journalists and scholars critical of the mechanisation of relationships, Alexandra Lucas (2020) argues that players can be encouraged to engage in pro-social behaviours through romance. Lucas (2020) states that the rewards for romance, including “bonuses to non-player character (NPC) attributes, unique conversation options, and intimate cutscenes,” encourages players to engage with romance, which leads to players “utilizing real-life social skills, empathy, and inclusion to deepen NPC relationships” (pp. 181-185). Scholars therefore have found that the mechanisation of romance does impact player participation, though some argue that these tactics depersonalise and trivialise relationships. Having established an understanding that romance in gaming is fraught with contested meanings and implications, I will use this as a foundation to explore popular representations of digital intimacy.
An Epic Love Story or Just a Phase? Limerent Representations of Romance.
The first -- and arguably most prominent -- representation of romance is what I refer to as “limerent.” For many, the idea of “romance” in games conjures up an image of some kind of interactive, in-game relationship. There exist endless lists from sites like Screen Rant (Dee 2023), Kotaku (Colbert, 2022), The Gamer (Natividad & Lizardi, 2023) that rank the AAA (and occasionally indie) games with the “best” romance options. Games like Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Fable and The Witcher II-III are always mainstays on these lists. Typically, the kinds of romance that are considered “the best” are the epic love stories that span multiple games -- the player has a paramour that is fleshed out and developed over time. Invariably, this type of romantic representation is linked to the developer BioWare in some way. The term “BioWare romance” or something akin to it -- BioWare style, Mass Effect style, or BioWare-like -- is peppered throughout blog posts, forums and journalistic articles. In the mid-2000s, BioWare were impactful in their attempts to shift from the “facile” elements of gaming romance (Schott, 2005, p. 18) to a more mature approach -- positioning themselves as creators of “serious” art that better represented the range of human emotions and behaviour. BioWare romances have been cited as representing “love” in a more fluid, relaxed and conscientious way. In gaming discourses there is a perception that this approach to romance and love has become somewhat of a “default” -- AAA developers like BioWare, Bethesda and CD Projekt Red have taken clear cues in how they design romance. In this section, I will outline the structures and hallmarks of these types of romantic representation. Despite what developers might intend to explore, this approach to romantic representation does not represent love -- it represents limerence.
Limerence is psychologist Dorothy Tennov’s term for understanding the early stages of falling in love. While Tennov’s research explores human relations at a broad level, her definition is helpful in this study for its applicability to the “constructed” romance setting in games. According to Tennov, for people to be,
…in the state of limerence is to feel what is usually termed “being in love”. It appears that love and sex can coexist without limerence, in fact that any of the three may exist without the others […] Limerence is not in anyway preeminent among types of human attractions or interactions; but when limerence is in full force, it eclipses other relationships. (1979, p. 16)
The concept of limerence can be described as an acute infatuation with the possibility of either transforming a subject through reciprocation or being passed onto another person who will act as another limerent object. The transformation that can occur will turn into what Tennov describes as the “emotional response more suitably described as love” (1979, p. 23). A critical component of being in limerence, as opposed to being in love, is that there is an acute longing for reciprocation, with the limerent object perceived without flaws by the subject who is experiencing limerence. Limerence is predominately a one-sided affection where the development of feelings happens in an individual's mind, there is a large onus on the individual who is experiencing limerence, and there is little selfless engagement.
Many games which purport to include “romance” are actually representing something that is closer to limerence. The term limerence more accurately expresses what these interactive experiences showcase when it comes to “love.” Limerent representations will allow players to enter into optional romantic relationships over the span of the game, with the climax of the relationship usually being the culmination of the developed and reciprocated feelings of the player and the NPC, rather than a structured engagement like a marriage, a bonding ceremony, or physical contact. Limerent representations of romance follow the courtship of the PC and NPC, and while there are sometimes options to develop relationships with multiple characters at a time, this is rarely encouraged. There is usually an acknowledgement that the PC must make a choice about who they want to be with. Tonally, limerent representations evoke an all-encompassing, epic love. However, what is expressed is the early stages of falling in love, with few hallmarks of a long-term loving relationship.
The Structure of Limerent Romance
Limerent representations have consistent structures that intertwine throughout a text. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (2003) is a clear, older example of this. The game is segmented into planets that the player can choose to visit, which essentially act as levels. The player character is tasked with finding the fragments of a map, which have been split and sent to different planets. Completing this map will allow the player to defeat the villain of the game, Malak. After the player completes the main quest of each planet, which is usually finding the segment of the map, the player can have conversations and debriefs with their assembled party. These conversations functionally work as the companion and the player-character developing a relationship, while also offering information about the character and the world in which the game is set. Developing a relationship with unique companions is a critical feature of limerent romantic representation. These conversations are intimate and provide insights into the characters, separating their decision making and characterization from each other. This is where most of the actual “romantic” gameplay occurs, with players engaging with dialogue mechanics. Essentially, who these characters are and what their motivations are will be slowly fed to the player. The player conveys romantic interest by listening and being interested as well as through selecting flirtatious responses. This occurs until eventually there is a climax -- the romance “shift[ing] into the romance arc, where the player and LI are together for the long run” (LadyInsanity, 2014). After dialogue filled with tension and flirting, there is a revelation of feelings -- including a physical demonstration of the relationship (a kiss). In-depth conversation is a hallmark in limerent romantic representations, and the specific relationship the PC and companion have together is heavily privileged by the text. Representations of limerent romances harken back to other media -- namely, romance novels and love stories in blockbuster films. The climax of the relationship is simply the admission of “love,” not anything beyond it.
Limerent representations of romance typically include a smaller number of romantic relationships for the player to explore throughout the text. Since limerent representations are more fleshed out, there are typically between 2-10 romance options as opposed to the 40-50 that can be found in different types of games. They are focused on depicting something closer to “face-to-face” relationships, prioritising NPC individualism and representing a more recognisable progression of romantic love. The “romance arc” tends to be a subplot that spans the duration of the game, with the culmination of the relationship happening towards the end of the overarching narrative. The amalgamation of these elements -- the staggered relationship development, the prioritisation of NPC depth and character -- is used to give the effect of romance that has grown over a period of time, and this is fleshed out with quirks and unique moments.
Limerent representations of romance facilitate a type of player/PC embodiment through gameplay that mechanises the early stages of a relationship. The Dragon Age series exemplifies this with its affection system in which a companion will think favorably or unfavorably depending on dialogue choices. For instance, the elven character Solas in Dragon Age: Inquisition (2014) will react negatively to dialogue options that disparage elves or elven culture, but will be happy with comments that are appreciative of elven culture. If the player says something disparaging about elves, they will see on the HUD “Solas greatly disapproves,” implying that he is very upset with the player. Fallout 4 (2015) (which I argue demonstrates limerent and domestic representations of romance) has a similar affection notification system, which will inform players when their companions and potential paramours are unhappy or happy. For example, the character Piper respects characters who can pick locks, and who are merciful in their discussions with NPCs. If the PC successfully picks a lock or chooses a “kind” dialogue option, they will see on their HUD “Piper liked that” or, if they kill an innocent, “Piper hated that.” This kind of non-diegetic communication to the player further demonstrates why “limerence” is an apt description for this style of romantic representation. A critical component to being in limerence is an “acute sensitivity to any act or thought that can be interpreted favourably,” where the person in limerence obsesses over the responses offered by the limerent object (Tennov, 1979, p. 24). These notifications of approval or disaproval could be construed as the player-character’s internal monologue and their own interpretations. On-screen prompts are what Moyzhes (2020) describes as a “metaphor” for social constructs around relationship communication anxiety (p. 159). Communication and the anxiety around vagaries of romantic reciprocation are often on display in examples of limerent representations. There is an attempt to mechanise the anxiety and uncertainty that those in the early stages of romantic love feel. This model attempts to emulate a deep and passionate love, as is demonstrated by the mechanics and structure of Mass Effect, Dragon Age: Origins, Cyberpunk 2077 and other exemplars.
Limerent representations of romance have the capacity to depict the intricate layers that build as a part of romantic love. These representations focus heavily on the development of a relationship and less on the aftermath of a relationship. The romantic narrative arc will follow the overarching narrative for the game, with the climax of the relationship coinciding with the finale of the story (Like Mass Effect 2 [2010] and 3 [2012], Dragon Age: Origins [2009], Dragon Age II [2011], Dragon Age: Inquisition, The Witcher [2007] and The Witcher III [2016]). Marriage and daily life are not considered, and courtship has a dramatized seriousness that hyper-focuses on one relationship per playthrough. Understanding what limerence representations are and how they can be identified leaves the door open for new understandings of the meanings encoded into these texts. If a character is in a romantic relationship with the player-character, what does that mean for player choice? If a player is forced to decide which companions live and die, a romantic relationship may clinch that decision. The question then becomes: does the tone and onus of a romantic relationship impact these decisions as well? Does it make a difference if the player is allowed and encouraged to treat their romantic partner with great respect or whether the relationship is framed to them as something frivolous?
Limerence is obsessional, intense and acute, and it is predominantly about the emotions felt from one person. This may at first seem puzzling, as many of the games that I argue are showcases for limerence appear to depict relationships between two individuals (the PC and NPC) who reciprocate romantic feelings. However, I classify these experiences as limerence because they are specifically structured for players to centre on and strategize successfully maximizing one, singular, in-depth relationship. Marketing about upcoming RPGs with limerent representations heavily emphasizes potential partners as a means of motivating players to strategize their upcoming romantic relationships. As Tomlinson (2021, p. 726) explores, players who interact with these styles of games will start to “plan” how to woo a potential paramour before a game has been released. Tomlinson further adds that when choosing a potential paramour,
...players consider many factors. In part, these players want characters that feel like a good match for one another. This also extends to broader story contexts, shared scenes, and if the characters’ backgrounds -- whether imagined by the player or established by the game creators -- seem appropriate. (2021, p. 726)
Limerent representations encourage obsession and intensity from their audience that no other form of representation (of those I categorise here) creates. Therefore, limerence is not named for the in-game character’s feelings, but rather for what the representation of romance in these games encourages from its players.
Much of the last decade of optional romantic content in role-playing falls into the category of limerence. The usefulness of understanding these representations is in revealing what the text is saying -- not just about love or sex or intimacy, but about how these social ideas fit into wider narratives. This style of representation is all-encompassing, and each player’s paramour is framed as their soulmate and a lifelong partner. This bleeds into every aspect of the experience and has perhaps unintended consequences that can significantly alter the game’s moral messaging and meaning. If the focus is so thoroughly on the player and their romance, then the nuanced discussion of morality and the complex layer of ethical decisions will feature the looming presence of intimacy, especially when all these experiences are so player focused. The structure of the games themselves invites a kind of cookie cutter effect that eventually forces players to either upset their paramour or completely cater to their (the paramour’s) particular beliefs and set of morals. Rather than players picking a partner who they feel may reflect the beliefs of their character, the game encourages a kind of covert existence, where players shift their beliefs depending on who they are attempting to court.
The Dollhouse Effect: Domestic Representations of Romance
Domestic representations of romance stand in stark contrast to the limerent representations just discussed. They are not nearly as concerned with the development of a detailed and nuanced virtual relationship between NPC and PC. Rather, they are far more interested in exploring (and gamifying) the social constructs that surround intimacy. Romantic interests are not positioned as a one true love -- rather, NPC companions are positioned as but one piece in the wider structure of in-game domestic life.
Domestic representations of romance conflate the idea of “romance” with different social engagements and constructs, like marriage, living together, having children and owning a house. These representations focus less on the courtship and development of a relationship than limerent representations do. They are more concerned with what a player can "get out of" an NPC -- what they can do for them from a gameplay perspective. Games that exemplify domestic representations of romance will still have some form of a relationship development system, but it will be relatively shallow and focus more on a player’s experience than the needs/requirements/preferences of an individualized NPC (Grey & Bryson, 2011). Building from John Alan Lee’s styles of love, I propose that players are encouraged to engage with romance in domestic representations in a “pragmatic” sense, as players seek out a “‘shopping list’ of practical, everyday qualities” that they desire in a romantic partner (1978, p. 47). Rather than an “ecstatic romance or an exciting affair,” players are encouraged to search for a “sensible, storgic [familial] partnership” (p. 47). In this sense, the development of a romance is heavily connected to domestic, familial and social constructs.
Domestic representations of romance are frequently expressed through a digital dollhouse of some kind. Martey and Stromer-Galley (2007, p. 327) contend that their understanding of a dollhouse in a game like The Sims relies on a digital space where those who interact or “play” with characters, including engaging in their social behaviours, can curate their environments within the boundaries of the game. Digital dollhouses put a lot of emphasis on player customisation of domestic environments and avatar appearance. This is a consistent feature of the domestic representations of romance I have identified. There is a focus in these games on a personal, domestic space -- a home or a hub (Paulk, 2006). Individualised areas are critical to dollhouse gameplay and domestic representations of romance. If a game displays domestic representations of romance, then it will invariably include a housing system of some description.
Social systems are also extremely common in domestic representations of romance. If we look at exemplars of this kind of optional romantic representation in two relatively big-budget games, Big Blue Box Studios’ Fable (2004) and Lionhead Studios’ extended version of the game Fable: The Lost Chapters, we can see early examples of domesticity in action. Fable has a disposition system, a marriage system and a housing system. In Fable, players can have a relationship with many different NPCs, though these rarely vary in their depth of character. NPCs tend to like the player-character if they do nice things, love them if they are given presents, and dislike them if they do mean things. As this disposition grows, so too does the heart above the NPCs head, which indicates how much they care for the player. If a player wishes, they can marry an NPC by proposing to them with a wedding ring. After a cut-scene depicting the wedding, the player dictates where the spouse will live. Once married, the PC and NPC are able to have children, and the NPC will at times give gifts to the player character. They will remain at the player’s house until the player either kills them or interacts with them negatively enough that the NPC divorces the player (though the player cannot divorce the NPC). Domestic representations of romance rarely acknowledge an "end" of a relationship that is not through a break-up or death. Typically, partners generally serve as vehicles to experience other social systems and constructs in the game. The Fable series (2004-2010) and The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim (2011) have over twenty potential paramours for players to choose from. At first glance, this seems like an ideal condition for offering players a diverse cast of characters to explore what sexuality and romance mean to them. However, an abundance of partners quickly reaches a point of diminishing returns. Too many characters without enough unique dialogue and interactions that go beyond the simple emote of flexing a muscle makes it difficult to empathise with each character.
Again, here I argue there is a distinction between domestic and other styles of romantic representation. The development of a romantic relationship is less significant than the social systems and exchanges that that relationship allows for, i.e., marriage, gift-giving, children and domestic living. What can be lost in this kind of representation is a level of nuance in the characters that players engage with romantically. However, this trade-off can afford players more customisation and control over their experience. Often the development of a romantic relationship is just a button that gets the player closer to having a spouse, children, money and a house. However, the ability to more effectively impact and customise a character’s life, at the expense of deeper levels of romantic courtship, can satisfy different players’ pleasures and wants. Montes and Campbell (2013) discuss the value that players get out of being able to have such control in games with dollhouse qualities, explaining that,
One could further argue that the attraction behind this form of playing-at-being stems from the ability to control a panoply of fictive characters all engaged in the enterprise of social interactivity. Moving the control outside of the absolutely personal and into the communal, the player's position as the “eye in the sky” (Consalvo, “Hot Dates” 189) enacts a potent fantasy of social power mostly absent outside of the computer generated universe offered by the game. (p. 46)
By sacrificing depth and complexity of interactions, players are afforded more control, which can give them a feeling of social power that impacts their experiences. Control and customisation are key features of domestic representations. Domestic representations have gameplay, mechanics and tools that allow for players to curate their experience thereby giving players a sense of power.
Compared to limerence, domestic representations of romance have far simpler methods of entering a romantic relationship with another character. This is exemplified in one of the most popular exemplars of domestic representations of romance -- fantasy RPG The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (Bethesda Game Studios, 2011). Much like in Fable and Fable II there are numerous potential paramours in-game, with upwards of fifty prospective spouses. The game showcases little in the way of depth in developing a romantic relationship with a character. In fact, players can agree to marry an NPC in as little as five interactions. Take, for example, the relationship a player can have with Ysolda in the Elder Scrolls: Skyrim. Ysolda is a citizen in the town of Whiterun who tasks the player with getting her a mammoth tusk to get her business started with other traders. After the player retrieves this item, Ysolda will be grateful and offer monetary compensation. The player, if they are wearing an amulet of mara (which signals that the person wearing it is interested in marriage), can then ask if Ysolda is interested in the player. Ysolda will respond in the affirmative no matter what actions the player has undertaken during their playthrough, provided that they have brought her the tusk. Ysolda then asks the player if they are interested in her. If the player says no, she will appear disappointed, but the relationship between the PC and Ysolda will stay the same for the most part. The player can even ask the “Interested in me, are you?” option with the exact same results. If the player answers “yes” to Ysolda’s query, then Ysolda will declare the matter settled, and the two agree to be married. After a player accepts the suggestion of marriage, a wedding is planned at the Temple of Mara, where all marriages in Skyrim occur. After the wedding, Ysolda (and indeed all Skyrim spouses) will then ask where they will live as newlyweds. The player can either select the NPC’s house, or the player-owned house if they have one. In this scenario, the player very quickly goes from an acquaintance of the NPC to their spouse.
From this point onwards, Ysolda will act as someone who will barter with the player. This means players can exchange loot they have acquired from this character. Along with any additional recurrent dialogue, there are now four new lines of dialogue for the player with their spouse, which are:
Has the store made any money? What have you got for sale? Would you mind cooking something for me? How are the kids?
Asking if the store has made money nets the player a certain amount of gold, the currency of the game. “What have you got for sale?” results in a barter screen being opened. If you ask your spouse to cook for you, they will give you food that, when eaten, provides bonuses of health. “How are the kids?” results in the spouse discussing how children are enjoying their home and surrounding area. There is only one other new interaction that a player can access, and they do this by sleeping in the marital bed with the player character’s spouse. The PC will then have the perk “Lover’s Comfort,” which gives experience bonuses to increase your level. Ysolda (and all other Skyrim spouses) are in this sense now a doll, a piece of decoration for the player to place in whatever home they would like.
Domestic representations of romance have a distinctly different essence to those found in limerent expressions. They rely on the player’s desire for power, and potentially more importantly, their drive for a stable, systematized home life for their character. As Paulk (2006) mentions when discussing The Sims, “few could have imagined a thriving audience for virtual domesticity” (p. 1). But he notes that Will Wright, the creator of the series, did imagine this. There are players who can gain satisfaction from the domestic lives of their virtual characters, and this is exactly what this model of romantic representation addresses. However, this model is more likely to uphold social systems from the non-virtual world, and as such, representations of these ideas come with their own potential pitfalls and areas of consideration. If a representation of digital romance can be classified as domestic, as a form of dollhouse gameplay, scholars can immediately understand this experience within a specific context. A game that demonstrates a domestic representation of romance may offer the building blocks of non-normative, transgressive play, while potentially creating relationships that are transactional, socially disengaged, and/or patriarchal in nature, with masculine dominance or violence positioned as necessary. Without this understanding and context, game studies scholars are not exploring discursive romance with appropriate consideration.
Powering Up with Love? Ludic Representations of Romance
The representations of romance that I have explored so far have been relatively staid, serious, transactional and at times somber or even violent. Limerent representations are intense and domestic representations have a bland understanding of digital intimacy. These texts treat romance, intimacy and falling in love with reverence and severity -- even if players do not. However, there are games that see romance as more of a light, humorous topic, and not as something so intense that it needs to be life-long or particularly dour. This is what I would call the “ludic” representation of romance. When I use this term, or identify a game as representing “ludus,” I am not invoking the more commonly understood use of this word in game studies. I am instead using the term ludic here to describe a particular style of romantic representation in AAA RPGs. This term draws from one of psychologist John Alan Lee’s (1978) understandings of the different types of love humans experience -- ludus. Much like game scholars discussing ludology, Lee draws ludus from the Latin word for “play or game” (p. 44). He argues the ludic lover sees love as a game to be played and possibly won,
The ludic lover has no ideal type of beloved in mind and refuses to devote the whole of life to the development of one partnership in love. He is a rover, and she is a collector of love experiences to be looked back on with pleasure, as one might recall annual vacations to many distant lands. (Lee, 1978, p. 44)
Ludic relationships are dalliances, flirtations, flings -- they are supposed to be fun (for one partner if not both). There is no expectation, at least on the part of the ludic lover, that this will be a long-term engagement. Marriage, bonding and even declaring love are often completely off the table. Ludic love is a game, and the ludic lover is not concerned that anyone else but themselves are having fun. The playful nature of the relationship can include playful and interesting activities, pranks, flirtations and teasing. Ludic styles stand in direct contrast to other kinds of love in that its playful nature situates itself in a different category of social interaction.
Ludic representations of romance include mechanics and story structures that are features of dating-simulators. Compared to the other representations I have explored so far, these experiences tend to have a core message -- romance is for fun, it is not serious, and it is only a playful side-activity in one’s life. Ludic representations can be applied to most games that either functionally act as dating simulators or heavily borrow mechanics and structures from this sub-genre but do not otherwise align with these labels. To understand how ludic representations present themselves, I will explore what dating sims are and how they differ from other games in the simulation genre. Isbister (2016) examines dating simulators and the goal of these experiences, stating that the player,
…works to woo over an NPC (usually female) so that she and the player are ‘dating.’ The end result might be a light romance, true love, or maybe even sim sex, depending on the game subgenre (variations on dating games range from chaste to pornographic). Players try to improve their in-game personal qualities in order to attract their chosen one; meanwhile, they must choose the right things to say and do to court her and keep her love once she has admitted that she cares. (pp. 25-26)
Three key ideas from this definition of dating simulators are: (1) the NPC the player is trying to romance is often female, (2) part of the courting of this character includes some kind of self-improvement on behalf of the player and (3) a player must continue to do and say the right things if they want to keep the relationship going.
Games that can be classified as ludic will always have some sort of system for keeping the player’s potential paramour satisfied. Sometimes this includes taking them on outings and completing quests or minigames -- Lee’s idea of “activities” as it were (1978, p. 44). Grand Theft Auto IV (2008) features an optional dating system in which the player-character, Niko Bellic, can engage with three women: Carmen Ortiz, Alexandra Chilton and Kiki Jenkins. A key aspect of this romantic representation is keeping potential paramours happy and satisfied by completing successful dates. Players are given hints as to the likes and dislikes of their potential paramour on the in-game dating website Love Meet. They can select their paramour from a variety of profiles and choose to date them. To make a better impression, players must have the correct clothes, vehicle and an appropriate date location. There are also many hidden preferences among the three women. For example, Kiki Jenkins will break up with Niko if he calls too frequently or infrequently, whereas Alexandra Chilton is less likely to be upset by calls but will be angered if Niki wins a game of bowling or darts. If a player reaches a maximum affinity with a potential paramour, they will be treated to gameplay bonuses such as clothing discounts, assistance avoiding police arrest, and health boosts.
GTA: IV shows how players are under pressure to keep their potential romantic partner happy in games that exemplify ludic representations of romance. This core mechanic is emblematic of this kind of romantic representation, as is the focus on personality matches as well as material possessions. Players are expected to enjoy the frivolous fun of keeping partners happy in this mechanised dating. Drawing again from McDonald’s (2015) understanding of romantic representation, I argue the dating model utilises the “stats management” mechanic to illustrate the dating process (p. 250). Stats management in the dating model is not always as simple as giving the correct gifts to NPCs or making sure to say the right things. Having statistics managed through mini games is common, and these small experiences are echoes of the dating simulator genre. Sega’s Yakuza series has utilised mini games throughout its entries, particularly in Yakuza: Like a Dragon (2020), as a way to increase the player character’s “personality” statistic. Players are tasked with progressing through different mini games to impress their potential paramour with their increasingly more interesting personality. Players can engage with the business management game, go karting and play darts successfully as a way to bond and develop their skills. Here we can see a more abstract form of ludic courting, in that success in small areas of play allows your character to grow in a way seen as desirable to a potential romantic partner. This structure of play is found more commonly in games with ludic representations of romance than those with limerent representations, and this again highlights how these styles showcase different forms of engagement that develop relationships. The pressure to keep paramours happy is intended to be the fun in these playful relationships.
Another hallmark of ludic representations is the encouragement of plurality. When it comes to having more than one partner, games that exemplify ludus will have an ethos that bleeds into the core foundations of the experience. Either multiple partners will be acknowledged as obstacles and part of the play, or they will be left unacknowledged. The player will be forced to assume that either the in-game society has no qualms or considerations about how many partners a person has, or that they are quietly engaging in unethical non-monogamy. As Lee explains,
Ludic lovers are pluralistic (detractors would say promiscuous) in love. They know there are plenty of fish in the sea, so jealousy is pointless and always deplored in the beloved. (1978, p. 44)
Part of the “game” in these systems is having the choice of who you want to develop a relationship with and being shrewd enough to engage with as many romantic subplots as possible. These games operate under the assumption that partners are always unhappy when the PC has multiple relationships. However, often the conceit of this kind of romantic representation is that the PC is tasked with dating multiple people at the same time. Players are actively encouraged to explore different options in love, whether it be via specific gamified boosts or the simple fact that other characters are interesting and players might want to get to know them. But while these games actively encourage players to have multiple partners, they still offer judgmental commentary and even gameplay consequences for players engaging in unethical non-monogamous relationships. Persona 5 (2016) punishes players who have romantic relationships with nine women, all of whom will show up to the player’s home threatening violence the day after Valentine’s Day if the player dates more than one person at a time. Yakuza: Like a Dragon as well has a very similar mechanic, where players with multiple partners are accosted by their armed paramours who again threaten violence. There is commentary here suggesting that the player should not have explored so many relationship pathways.
Compared to limerent representations, ludic representations of romance approach relationships with levity -- a casualness to their engagement. There are not as many social structures, like marriage, home ownership and family, that surround this model. Games that exemplify ludic representations do not treat relationships as all-encompassing the way games that show as limerent seem to insist. As games journalist Aimee Hart (2020) explains in their discussion of the romance options in Assassin’s Creed Valhalla,
the game’s take on romance is the same as Assassin’s Creed Odyssey: short, but sweet. There are no ‘real’ connections or ties that bound you and your love interest together. It’s very much wham, bam, thank you ma’am.
“Real” connections are what some players value as a signifier of romance. Domestic representations might connect these “real” romantic connections to systems and constructions, but ludic representations are not concerned with discursive markers of romance. Ludic representations tend to employ a more youthful vision of relationships, in which connections can be fleeting and based on more superficial qualities. Players may claim they have had a deep experience with these games, but the model casual and playful in tone. These relationships rarely feel like they will eventuate in a long-term, deep connection for the characters. Ludic representations of romance often try to capture the early experiences that many people have with relationships. As sociologist Anastasia R. Synder explores, “learning how to form, maintain, and gracefully end romantic and sexual relationships with others is arguably one of the critical developmental tasks of adolescence and early adulthood” (2015, p. 161). The experience of having brief, casual relationships -- with multiple partners and without much social and financial capital involved -- is more closely associated with adolescence. As such, understanding ludic representations on these terms provides essential context for players and scholars.
Conclusion
“Romance” is colloquially used as a catch-all term by gamers and journalists to describe anything from a single kiss with an NPC to an in-depth love subplot branching across multiple games. For too long there has been an oversaturation within scholarship surrounding the same styles of digital love (mainly developed by BioWare) with little consideration paid to the question of what gaming culture widely labels as “romance.” As a researcher, I observed sections of gaming history were being forgotten and discarded without recognizing their potential impacts. My findings demonstrate a need to recognise the difference between the all-encompassing love found in limerent expressions like Mass Effect and the quick matrimonial courtship found in Fable II. Players, journalists and scholars had previously labelled these experiences the same -- which in practice would be like comparing the romantic subplot in Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back to a romantic narrative depicted in miniatures via a diorama. One expression is not inherently more valuable, and both engage with social intimacy, but to label them under the same category when analysing their impacts is almost absurd.
By developing this classification system, I have presented a framework of understanding for a deeply understudied area within mainstream gaming. These results can lay the foundation for more nuanced readings of optional romance studies in gaming. In exploring this phenomenon, scholars can begin to unpack how something consistently dismissed as a “side activity” can be so deeply impactful and reflective on an entire medium. By breaking down the varied expressions of optional romantic play, this work can be used to unfurl a complicated tapestry of play, gender, power and sexuality. The collective understanding of what romance is and is not demonstrates a powerful form of meaning-making within gaming communities. These communities, along with the texts themselves, have morphed romance into something entirely unique to the medium. Researchers may wish to use the findings here to understand these unique representations of romance on their own terms and continue to explore the varied forms of this understudied but impactful facet of gaming.
Endnotes
[1] An incredibly fraught and weighty term -- for the purposes of this research, AAA titles are big-budget, large-studio games that have been heavily marketed and receive significant public attention.
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